Daffodils spring forth
The sun shines through budding leaves
Yet the cold wind blows
Apparently, due to the cadence of the English language, haiku doesn’t work so well with the 5-7-5 structure of traditional Japanese haiku. It ends up feeling stiff and choppy. There is also supposed to be a pause either after the first line, in the middle of the second line or at the end of the second line. Mine could conceivably be said to have a pause at the end of the first line, so maybe it’s “OK” haiku.
The master Basho said, “On your lips a thousand times.” I haven’t even said this one out loud thrice. And I haven’t revised it. I do understand what he means, though. As I write my book, I not only read each scene out loud, I record it. It’s amazing how much I hear when I play it back, that I don’t see when I read silently and I don’t hear when I simply read out loud. It is my favorite form of editing
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