I am super excited to say I have finished the first edit of the second draft of “Tishta the Crystal Orb.” Going through “Part 5: Into Mondar” was a lot of fun. I can not wait to release this book.
I continued to trim words even as I filled in incomplete parts of the story. The word count for Part 5 dropped from 48,630 to 46,691, although the page count increased by two to 144. The total for the novel went from 175,847 words to 173,696.
The reason for the increase in pages—even though the word count continues to decrease—is, I have been splitting up paragraphs based on who is doing the action. It started when I began breaking compound sentences into their parts, especially when the first part was the action of one character and the second of another character. It led to inserting line feeds between the actions. I am happy with the result.
Here is an example:
Malcan sat and crossed his legs. Mar turned to look at him. She moved into his lap with her back against his chest and he put his arm around her. They waited.
Malcan sat and crossed his legs.
Mar turned to look at him. She moved into his lap with her back against his chest.
He put his arm around her.
I like this much better, especially the final sentence being by itself. Before, it was buried at the end of a fairly long paragraph. It took me a while, but, now that I am used to it, it seems natural when the actions are so discrete to each character. There are cases where it is more about the group—I sometimes leave paragraphs intact, even though there are multiple characters involved—especially when they are all involved in the same task or idea.
I had a similar epiphany when I stopped using gerund phrases so much, especially at the beginnings of sentences.
I hope these are both good changes. I fear they will make the reading of the book too drab or boring. Time will tell.
I learned some of these tricks of the trade from Jack Remick and Bob Ray. The style they teach is aimed at being concise and using only the words that need to be used. I didn’t understand all of it when I regularly attended their twice weekly writing group (it used to be at the now-closed Louisa’s on Eastlake and E Louisa in Seattle, but now meets at Vios Cafe at Third Place at NE 65th and 20th Ave NE in the Roosevelt Neighborhood), but it sunk in. Once I discovered it in my own writing, I learned to embrace it. If you’re interested in learning about what they share, check out their website, bobandjackswritingblog.com.
Because I added so much to the second draft (it more than doubled in length from the first draft), there were characters and scenes I didn’t remember. I made sure they were adequately described, consistent with their place of origin, and unique. While I read, I carefully monitored the passage of time—there were three main story plots going on that had to line up for the finale. I am pretty confident they are all in sync in terms of passage of time. In the final edit, I will ensure these are completely correct.
The final edit—that’s the next thing I have lined up. I am planning to read the book from end-to-end while listening to the audio recordings. This will help me find any remaining plot and character vagaries; missing periods or commas; repeated words; and typos; as well as ensure the uniformity of my writing style. Audio is really helpful to me in this regard. It also helps me find inconsistencies in the voices of the characters—“that’s not something Coltan would say; it’s more like what Malcan might say,” I hear myself thinking.
I do not have a really good feel for how long this will take, but I am guessing something on the order of a month. My plan is to do it—earbuds in place and computer open on my lap—on the bus during my commute to and from work. I will also spend most of my evenings engaged in the same process.
As soon as I finish, I plan to release a Beta to my Beta Readers. If you are interested in helping with this, let me know at TheWolfDreamBooks@gmail.com, and I will add you to the list. The work for you would be to read the book in a timely manner and give me feedback. The reward will be my eternal gratitude and an autographed copy (if, and when, a physical book is produced), or maybe a signed special edition of the final ebook.
While the Beta is out, I will be getting cover art done, and drawing maps and maybe some other inside art. The first edition might be a little rough around the edges, but I think it is important to get it out there. A second edition will likely have professionally drawn maps and scene art. But that’s getting ahead of myself.
For now, I feel a great sense of relief to finish this step in the process. My current goal is still to self-publish before the end of the year. The next book, “Into the Wolf Dream,” has been tugging at me—it is ready to move forward.
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